Monday, August 16, 2004

Slippery Slop 

Republicans never pass up a chance to assail liberalism as the fount of "moral relativism."

"Everything is equal to you people," they say. "If we don't stop your amoral, valueless activism, eventually things like incest, bestiality, and cannibalism will be perfectly acceptable life-styles. My children... God's word..."

(Yawning) You know the spiel.

Try telling a republican that their political philosophy is an offensive, decaying, half-baked pile of logical fallacies, megalomaniacal superstitions, and hijacked words.

Of course it'll probably take more than just a sentence, but see how fast you can make them seek the protection of the "moral relativism" they love to decry.

"Just because I believe that doesn't make me a bad person," they'll say. "I have a right to my opinion too you know; it's a free country. How dare you... God made..."

It's terribly touching. Who would have guessed that fascists were such sensitive, vulnerable people?

Tell them that if their philosophy were a meal, it would be a bloody goat bladder filled with high fructose corn syrup, preservatives, and tiny photos of real food.

Try marketing that shit, Karl Rove.

Note: If you're a republican, and you take offense at being lumped into the above pile -- stop hanging out with people that make you look bad. If that doesn't work for you, try taking your party back from the fools you invited.

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