Sunday, June 19, 2005

Something Personal 

I started painting again after a break that ended up lasting 10 years. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and this time at least, I can vouch for the saying's accuracy. It feels like I'm rediscovering a best friend from childhood. A few days ago, I remembered why I wanted to be a painter in the first place.

Painting after such a long break was a little awkward at first; starting over usually is. But it didn't take long for me to get back my mojo. When I was a senior in college, one of my favorite painters asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I said I wanted to be a great painter, and he told me that I was already a great painter. Even though his words are worth more to me than the degree I received a few months later, I wasn't certain that they were true.

I am now. I'm ripping a window through time and space and it's stunning rendered in gorgeous pigments.

For as long as I can remember I've had what for lack of a better word I'll call "visions." They manifest themselves as mental images that encapsulate feelings about people, places, things, and times. The visions come from a part of me that experiences time and space in quite a different way. The "vision mind" knows where it came from and where it's going, and it knows why. I've spent most of my life chasing after it and learning to interface with it. I've been conversing with it a lot lately, like when I was a young child.

I became an artist because of it. I felt that if I could learn its language, I would be able to rip a window through time and space.

When I was a child, I saw this bittersweet reunion.

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