Monday, August 29, 2005

Dubya's Kitchen 

This penchant you have for promoting shitty, undeserving people - it's a sign of a shitty, undeserving leader. Every tyrant throughout history has done the same thing. You offer the wretches a legitimacy that they're not entitled to because you need their support to enforce your claim to legitimacy. Of course, you - as a tyrant - misunderstand the nature of legitimacy. Your egregious violations of human nature demonstrate a basic misapprehension of said nature.

Instead of empowering the wretches in the way that Jesus did, you inflame their savage passions and reward their ignorance. Your approach is more akin to Hitler's. He put the worst people in charge of the best people, just like you're doing. I imagine that you fancy yourself as being more intelligent and civilized than Hitler, and that you can keep your unleashed dogs under control better than he did. For the sake of the America you claim to love, I hope you're smart enough and decent enough to keep a lid on it until it's your time to step down.

But I know that it won't stop when you step down. Thanks to you, millions of shitty, undeserving people in this country are now convinced that they're entitled to lord over the rest of us. That's a serious problem that has to be addressed. The U.S.A. can't afford to be dominated by the anti-science, anti-intellect, morally perverted machinations of "faith-based" pimps.

Thanks to you and your ministers of moral relativity, rancid spiritual gruel is the plate of the day. What an unsavory, degraded state of affairs indeed.

Diplomatic Impunity 

I have a rhetorical question for you, President Porcupine.

When you decided to drag this country's venerable institutions through the proverbial mud, did you expect that the nature of those institutions would protect you?

More specifically, how did you expect the American people to react to having their government extorted by criminals, and to having their enlisted sons and daughters used as hitmen? Did you think that people would have so much respect for the "office" that they would let the officeholder get away with anything?

As it turns out, the "office" is only as respectable as its holder. Since the "office" really is quite important to the American people, they can't afford to have someone like you disgracing it. What you're doing is unacceptable and you're getting what you deserve. Considering that you're a "conservative," I'm sure you can understand the "you get what you deserve" concept.

You're fucking the American people. You should be proud of the ones that are standing up to you, because they represent the best hope for the "new American century." Look them in their eyes and you will see the soul of America's promise. (There's a good one for you - use it in reference to the deluded mothers that are willing to sacrifice their children for your "kick their ass, steal their gas" vulgarity.)

By the way, I hope you don't mind if I take a ride on your noteworthy "small government" testicles once in a while. I can't help it, they're just so - big.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


See, Rummy? Even the chief agrees - WW2 was a war against fascism. He's a notorious liar, but he's correct about that.

You know, watching you gentlemen (cough) present your case, I'm compelled to imagine the world through your eyes. I am aware of where you're coming from and I know what you're trying to do.

Look, even if I give you the benefit of the doubt and accept your claims of good intentions, I still have to conclude that what you're doing is wrong. For the record, I don't accept your claims, because I don't believe that your actions are simply the result of stupidity. You know that what you're doing is morally wrong. You lie and manipulate because you know that what you're doing is morally wrong. Furthermore, you're doing what you're doing despite moral standards, because somehow, you think that you're entitled to violate those standards.

When I use words like "criminal," "neofascist," and "neoracist" to describe you and your gang, I'm aiming for precision. I don't imagine that you see yourselves that way, but that's what you are, as defined by your actions. Whether or not you're evil people is not for me to judge, but I dare say that what you're doing is evil. How does the old saying go? "Hate the sin, not the sinner?" I don't believe in hate, so I would leave that part out of it. I don't hate you because I know how difficult it can be to become an enlightened human being - to overcome the stubborn obstacles that enslave the spirit.

Your problem is that you're convinced that you're already enlightened. Why else would you be at the helm of the most fearsome battleship-of-state that the world has ever seen, right? I'm afraid that what you really are, is evidence of yet another brutal lesson that humanity will have to absorb in its struggle to validate the sanctity of life. Spiritually speaking, you're savages.

What do you suppose the lesson is this time, that spiritual savages make terrible leaders? Isn't that always the lesson? Wall, meet head.

I would like to sit back and let things sort themselves out, but I can't for two reasons: I love, and I see. And what I see is that you're abusing and squandering the only things that have lasting value to humanity. You're doing it deliberately, and yet, you really don't know what you're doing. I would feel sorry for you if you weren't such a threat to the world that I love.

How much is the lesson going to cost this time? How much more are you prepared to waste? You really are a pathetic bunch of people. You have no idea what you could have accomplished - peacefully - with the resources at your disposal. Instead, you're getting what you deserve. Your vicious ideology is creating a vicious reality. Congratulations, fools.

As always, you're welcome to take my words and use them to mislead the people you're afraid of. (I'm referring to the American people. I know, shhh...) I recommend "...vicious ideology creates a vicious reality." You can use that one to describe Muslims that refuse to submit to the will of your mighty testicles.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

"Private citizens say all kinds of things." 

And elderly neofascist sociopaths say the darndest things.

Yes, Rummy, WW2 was a war against communists - from the fascist perspective. It's interesting that you mentioned "communist intellectuals," and not their fascist counterparts. By presenting history in this way, you're one step closer to being honest about what you are.

Good for you, old boy, have another Viagra.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Who pulled his finger? 

By the way, did you see the "puffing" face that Bush made after his speech today? It was strange - like nausea and relief at the same time. It must be tough to expel that much flatus from the mouth in one sitting.

Disguising a Geopolitical Rapist 

One of the benefits of reading a wide variety of opinions on a daily basis is that one can see how ideas, "frames," and attitudes originate and develop within the pool of human thought. The process is fluid, organic, prismatic, and reactive; to see how it works makes for some interesting observations. It can also encourage one to be a more judicious and effective "painter."

Have you noticed that the Bush administration's language regarding its "noble" cause and "savage" enemies is strikingly similar to the language that progressives use to describe their cause and adversaries? It's not a coincidence. The administration's operatives mine the progressive community for the most compelling narratives to fool the American public with. It's an immoral, shameless farce, but that's all the rightists have. That they're reduced to plagiarizing descriptions of themselves and what they're doing is pathetic, but it's also a testament to the effectiveness of what progressives are communicating.

It's a truism that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Usually, flattery isn't worth much, but this is one compliment that progressives should enjoy.

The Bush administration uses language that it's incapable of doing justice to, and that will become apparent to more people as time progresses. It costumes itself to appear civilized, but it can't permanently hide the naked, grunting, sweaty criminal underneath.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

President Bookworm 

With all due respect, chief, put your summer reading list aside for a couple of days and read Carlos Fuentes' The Years with Laura Diaz.

Don't be intimidated by art. It can be quite beautiful, and sometimes enlightening.

Some things are not going to go away because humanity can't afford to lose them, sir. So perhaps it's time for you to learn to savor these fruits of humanity.

If you're really interested in finding your balance, then you should know that you haven't explored what amounts to 1/2 of your manhood. Any talk of balance at this point is wishful thinking.

We're in a serious pickle because of the bonehead cult of retarded masculinity that dominates our rapidly evolving civilization. I hate to break it to you, sir, but you're the figurehead of this cult. It must be a strange place for a mother's boy who was once a cheerleader.

If there's one thing I can predict with confidence it's this: when all is said and done, the last man standing will be a fully developed (and I'm not talking about his "manifest destiny") man. Only a man that truly loves is capable of taking care of life. Nature favors him for that reason.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

5-Sack Politics 

If you're cheering Bush's "balls," then this is for you.

It seems just a tad primitive to use testicles as a measure of a person's character. Don't you think? Every time I hear someone describe another person as having "balls," I immediately picture that person with an exposed, hairy sack between their legs. Nice, huh? Most of the time, the picture conforms to reality, because it's usually men talking about other men and the majority of men are just ball-happy fools. But it's a little disturbing to picture a woman with a scrotum. No?

I suppose it's reasonable to conclude that "balls" are meant to describe something that is uniquely male. Courage, bravery, strength, and determination, or just the savage urge to dominate and ejaculate? You decide.

To me, it looks like Cindy Sheehan has courage, bravery, strength, and determination; George W. Bush is acting out a savage impulse to dominate and ejaculate. He's imposing his "balls" on the world, and people who cheer for "them" are cheering a form of rape.

So, please spare yourselves the ball-speak. It makes you look like a tribe of primitive hominids, desperately overcompensating for deficits in mind and spirit. It's not difficult to imagine you huddled around a big fire, shouting prayers to the golden scrotum.

If you still insist that testicles represent strength, then you should wonder why they're not made of bone or some other material that is impervious to pain. In fact, as everyone knows, testicles are quite sensitive. All it takes is a little squeeze to make a man beg for mercy. As for big testicles - well, there's just more to squeeze. And really big testicles? Have you ever heard of macro-orchidism?

Visualize George W. Bush as an intellectually and morally challenged fool, struggling to impose his giant testicles on the world. That's what your metaphor looks like - adjusted for reality.

But perhaps I'm being unfair by not delving deeper into the wonders of testicular philosophy, so, let's unravel "balls" once and for all. Shall we?

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and posit that it's what one does with one's "balls" that counts. Sort of like mind in the service of cumbag. How does that sit with you? Or do you prefer a balance between mind and cumbag?

Hey - have you ever noticed that testicles look a little like miniature brains? Coincidence? I think not. ;)

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

From Violeta to Jorge 

Talk about being between Iraq and a hard place. I know you didn't expect that it would come to this, but it has, and there you are.

Sooner or later, you'll have to level with the people that you're responsible to, and you'll have to start considering intelligent solutions to a problem that you've made considerably worse. The longer you put it off, the worse the problem will get. And the intensity of the confrontations with your people will increase until you're forced into a situation where your only options are ugly and uglier.

Believe it or not, you still have the choice to do something extraordinary. I can see it hovering around you, but you're oblivious to it. You can't see it because you don't believe it's possible. In addition, you've developed a bad habit of looking in the wrong places.

I know how you can turn it all around, and end up a bigger winner than you ever thought possible.


I can see the outline but I need more information.

It starts with an act of faith. This is mine.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Learning to Fly 

I'm fairly certain that some of my readers come here to look at their grotesque reflections. The following story is for the people that come here for a glimpse of their inner beauty.

I had a dream once that I was standing in a crowd. I couldn't see anyone because it was too dark, but I could feel their presence. It felt like everyone in the world was there. After contemplating the situation - which led to the realization that I was dreaming - I decided to fly.

I gathered all of my energy in the center of my being, and lifted myself slowly. As I rose, I noticed that I was generating a faint light, and I started to see the shapes of the people standing below me. The higher I rose, the more people I saw, until I was able to see a mass of humanity extending beyond the horizon in every direction.

At first no one noticed me. I wanted to be noticed.

"Why isn't anyone watching?" I asked myself. "Is flying an ordinary thing? And the light - am I the only one that can see it?"

So I launched myself to just beyond the atmosphere, and launched myself back to earth, stopping instantly before reaching the ground.

People noticed something, but they went back to doing what they were doing.

"That's strange," I thought, "I got their attention, but they reacted like it was something familiar. Perhaps they thought it was lightning or something."

Then I noticed that I was generating more light, and that a few people were watching me. That made me feel wonderful.

"Watch this."

I danced with the wind and the stars.

It must have been as beautiful as it felt, because it made people want to fly. At first, there were only a few. But gradually, the sky filled with dancing people. And that was when I noticed that it wasn't dark anymore. The dancers generated enough light to see a smile from across the globe.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Telling the Truth 

In the months immediately before and after the 2004 election, my policy was to concentrate my fire on Republicans and avoid hitting Democrats. My reasoning was that given the circumstances, a show of unity was the best way to defeat the Republican menace. I appears that John F. Kerry won the election and the Republicans stole it. The Democrats won the election despite having no distinctive vision, and a campaign that amounted to little more than "anyone but Bush." They lost the power struggle because leaders without a distinctive vision usually don't have much in the way of conviction. They seem willing to let the Republicans get away with stealing the election, despite knowing what it means to all of us, because they know deep inside that their alternative is only slightly better than what the Republicans offer.

I don't know how you feel, but I find it next to impossible to get excited about mediocrity - especially when the mediocrity in question is based on rules established by its competition. For example: the Democrats' fascination with promoting candidates who served in the armed forces is, in my opinion, wrongheaded, disingenuous, embarrassing, and potentially disastrous. For more examples look at the measured poses they offer for issues that were once considered to be important liberal issues - like civil rights, and quality of life for working people.

Conservatives worked hard for decades to shift the entire political establishment to the right. They succeeded because they knew what they were doing. They knew what they were doing because they had a vision that was irresistible to them. So they made plans, and carried them out. I'm using the past tense because their big adventure has a shelf life, and it's about ready to expire. The first rule of visions is that in the end, there are only 2 kinds: the kind that keeps, and the kind that doesn't. It's ironic that conservatives have a tendency to hatch visions that can't be "conserved." In addition to being ironic, this tendency is insane. It's obvious that we can't afford their harebrained schemes anymore. The waste and destruction are much too costly.

Here we have a group with a long and illustrious record of morally bankrupt visions,(re)writing the rules, and a group that hasn't had a vision in 40 years, eager to show how well it can play the (new) game. It's pathetic, and heartbreaking. One thing about government that some people don't seem to understand is that ultimately, people pay for it with trust. When trust runs out, the government is bankrupt. Now more than ever, the American people need a lovely, noble vision that won't spoil, because trust is running low.

Fortunately, our society was founded on a lovely, noble vision. And really, all it needs is progress.

The Republicans are trading our unfinished skyscraper for a deluxe shotgun shack. And the Democrats are diligently discussing strategies for the next slaughter, that will be diligently ignored by the Republicans.

The Democratic leadership is clueless. Allow me to say that another way.

The Democratic leadership doesn't know what it's doing. Now I'd like to rephrase that one last time - this time for the benefit of the Democratic leadership.

You, my friends, need a miracle. I know where you can find one, but I think you're too afraid to go there and get it. I would get it for you if I could, but it's not something that one person can manage. I can give you directions though. This is how you get there:

Start by telling the truth and the rest should become apparent.

Monday, August 01, 2005

The Real Thing 

You are the only adversary that the rightists fear, because only you have the power to stop them. If you haven't noticed yet, you should know that they're waging a massive psychological war against you. The goal of this perfidious war is to mislead, confuse, and exhaust you - while they dismantle the legal and ethical framework that is the source of your power over them.

Like the 9/11 hijackers, the rightists are using the cover of America's free and trusting society to manipulate its people.

It's not just the mainstream media. You can be sure that the progressive community (especially on the Internet) is crawling with their agents. In addition, the rightist megalomaniacs have "fronts" on the left that protect their interests. These fronts have been useful to them in the long term as vehicles to move the country toward the right. Under the current circumstances, they are becoming more important to the rightists' strategy. Given their control of the media, I'm not surprised that they're vigorously promoting these fronts and busy devising new ones.

I'm painfully aware that this knowledge can lead to a negative result. We must be aware and vigilant without letting it degenerate into paranoia and indiscriminate internecine combat. I recommend that we deal with this in a thoughtful, fair, and quiet manner. Know that in the end, it's who and what we support that counts. Without our support or attention, the intruders will fall away or be reduced to flailing madly for all to see.

How can one spot a con? It can be difficult because it requires attention, patience, restraint, and intuition. The best advice I can give you is to let your conscience and good nature guide you.

You may have already arrived at the realization that the adversity is helping you become a better person by making you focus on the things that are truly important. Perhaps you've also realized deep in your soul what it means to be a virtuous human being, and realized that fear is something you can hold in your hand. If you haven't yet, that's what I want for you.

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