Saturday, March 31, 2012

The Soul's Polarity 

The natural polarity of the soul is positive, meaning that it radiates outward. With self-awareness comes the ability to reverse the polarity to negative, meaning that it will radiate inward.

When you die and your soul is added to Mind, it will retain its polarity; if it radiates inward, your soul will not be able to contribute to enhance Life. Also, the soul's polarity is how our descendants will determine which ones are worth reincarnating.

Being gay will not cause your soul to radiate inward, but there are plenty of things that will, including ira, avaritia and superbia. Thankfully, it is possible in life to restore the soul to its natural polarity; Love can do that.

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Seven Steps of Creation 

  1. Singularity existed containing the potential for everything in the Universe, including space, time, and Mind.
  2. Singularity sacrificed itself to become the Universe.
  3. The potential for Mind, stored in extra dimensions, became Life.
  4. Life developed Mind.
  5. Mind developed self-awareness.
  6. Mind explores its potential. Everything we explore is ultimately an exploration of the mind's potential.
  7. Mind will transcend Life. The solution will involve science and technology not yet imagined.
Everything will be possible when Mind transcends Life; that includes the ability to bring any living thing back to life, from Mind. Until then, there will be no reincarnation. You will not get as many lives as you need to perfect your soul. Be content with the knowledge that it will be added to Mind, within which, your soul can contribute to enhance Life. To build on Martin Luther King's prophetic observation, respectfully: it is the excellence of the souls contributed to Life that bends the long arc of the moral universe towards justice; the greater the number of excellent souls, the shorter the arc.

If your soul is ever reincarnated, it will be the result of a decision made by living beings -- hopefully our descendants. Fortunately for Life's lovers, (the meek), Mind can transcend Life only when it is spiritually prepared for the responsibility.

My apologies, once again, for all the edits; sometimes the language begs to be refined.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Innate Capabilities 

Once upon a time I befriended a bright and lovely man who was sometimes mistaken for an ogre. An admiration for Buckminster Fuller was one of the many things we had in common. The following excerpt is from an official transcript he gave me as a gift; it tells a story that few people know.
Buckminster Fuller at Camberwell
A Lecture Given 19th May 1971

My wife and I were married at the beginning of World War I and just at the end of World War I we had our first baby. She caught spinal meningitis and infantile paralysis which at that time was said to be absolutely fatal and they knew nothing about it and certainly would never know anything about it. She did live until she was four, just before her fourth birthday, and no harm had been done to her head or brain by the fact that she was immobilised, but like every child she wanted to get information around her and she could not go to this point to get this information so she demonstrated the ultimate resource you and I would not think much about if we hadn't been near this child. She learned to get her information from human beings who could walk over there and she listened to them and paid much attention to what was going on. She really learnt very brightly and her vocabulary was extremely good; she had two trained nurses and my wife and I. Time and again we were about to say something to each other and you had this sentence completely formulated and just before you had it out of your mouth she would say it and many times her sentences were not quite the thought she would be generating from her experience and quite clearly she was demonstrating telepathy. I said because her affliction was not genetic she had caught these things, diseases, after her birth and what she was demonstrating is the capabilities all human beings have and they rarely have to have recourse to and all of us have had experiences which you can only use expression but man said we haven't any scientific proof of that so you're puzzled and mystical, but that's about as far as you can go. This child was really giving us such demonstrations that I became very confident that this is an inate capability of all human beings. And so she died and 5 years later our second child was born and that was in 1927 when I was 32. During the sickness of our child I was in the regular U.S. Navy and I had been assigned to the Adriatic Fleet Service and eventually I resigned as this child would have died while I was away and let me get out of the Navy.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Deus Ex Machina 

God can intervene in the Universe only through living things; and the possibility of meaningful and effective intervention exists only through the experience and language of sentience. It is a problem that this communication is difficult, costly, and often dangerous at our level of sentience. The prerequisite altered state can be induced in several ways, including through illness, fasting, psychotropic compounds, dream states, and deep meditation. What to make of the experience is another problem.

This is one of the mysteries I can help you understand.

God is not a detached observer; God is an integrated participant, fully invested in life.

The message is not complex but the messenger is.

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Revelation 

After my "fear of life" experience, I developed the ability to maintain lucidity in dreams for extended periods of time. My strategy for exploring the strata of the subconscious mind was to see it in levels, from rooms in buildings down to prehistoric caves deep underground. Look for a door leading to stairs leading to another room with a door leading to stairs leading to another room with a trap door leading to stairs leading to a tunnel leading to a cave with an opening leading to another tunnel...

Eventually, I found the source of the "pull" on my psyche, living in a cave, deep inside the core. It had been attracting me all along, like a magnet. The closer I got, the stronger the pull got. When I reached its lair, the overwhelming force on my consciousness frightened me. When I entered its lair and saw it, I was terrified. It has the head of a lion and the body of a snake, and it is as imposing physically as it is mentally. Thankfully, I found out quickly that I had nothing to fear because it cares deeply about my well-being. I sat beside it for a while, enjoying its presence. It enjoyed me back.

Then it led me through a gate and I found myself on a precipice so high that I could see the curvature of the Earth. The view was so beautiful, serene, and complete that I started weeping. I realized that I was looking at and feeling the fulfillment of the Earth's promise to raise life to its apex. For a moment, everything made perfect sense and every life was accounted for. "This is it," I thought, "this is why we live and die. This is where the universe realizes itself -- where life transcends nature."

God's grace can be terrifying and painful and perplexing, but it is just.

What was the significance of the extra light switch? One for the eyes and one for the soul.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Trial 

I was going to tell you the story without this part, but, I lost that argument. Writing about this isn't going to be easy.

Jon has been a dear friend since we were in high school together. As well as being bright, perceptive and creative, he is a spiritual yet grounded person with a talent for love and wisdom. He wanted to become a Roman Catholic priest, but I helped talk him out of it. Although I didn't know as much about the Roman Catholic Church as I know today, I knew enough to be certain that I was helping to save my friend from spiritual captivity. Now I understand that he was in love with me and wanted to follow me. But I didn't know where I was going or how to get there, and I had monstrous personal issues to overcome. After a few years, I proved myself as unworthy a leader as the Roman Catholic Church.

One night in July of 1985, Jon agreed to take LSD with me, as he had done several times before. Even though I had just returned from a rewarding semester in London and an eventful tour of Europe, I felt dead, emotionally, and lost, spiritually. Our previous session, a year earlier, had been a Biblical experience as though imagined by Caravaggio. During that session, seemingly played out for my benefit, Jon found his strength, and our friend, Noj, lost his. Under my moderation, they wrestled soul to soul. It was no contest. I felt sympathy for Noj, and I tried to help him, but his soul was sealed shut. Jon manipulated him like a puppet; it was extraordinary and shocking. I found out years later that Noj developed serious psychological problems after that night.

Now it was my turn to face Jon's light. I asked for his help, and he did it with love, but my beastly ego made it one of the most unpleasant experiences I have ever had. While he held my hand in between his, he showed me the emotional connections that were missing in my life. He felt the pain of the women whose feelings I took advantage of; I felt nothing. He wept for my 3 aborted offspring; I couldn't manage a single tear, although, pathetically, I tried. When he told me that I love men, the shock of that realization caused me to pull my hand away. When he described sex between men and told me that he loved me, I panicked and went home. His energy buzzed in my hand for hours.

I was devastated and thoroughly humbled. God had given Jon the authority to judge and sentence me, and I was appalled at what I had become. It felt like I was fundamentally tainted. After that night, I decided to stay away from women, but I couldn't accept that I love men. That is where I was for most of my senior year of college, and what precipitated my "fear of life" experience.

In addition to conquering my fear of life, I found the way to love men, and keep a woman in my life. And yes, I wept for my aborted offspring, among other things.

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Premonition 

When I arrived home on the evening of December 12, 1984, I had just finished the first semester of my junior year of college. On top of the world in many ways, I was young, good-looking, talented, privileged, unusual, ambitious, and inspired. Some of my male friends were even envious of the ease with which I was able to attract female companionship. As I told you recently, I adored women. I just didn't understand or respect them.

My dominant passion was following the pull of my psyche towards exploration and discovery, through art and other means. Even though I had convinced myself otherwise, women meant little more to me than sex, companionship, and fantasies. Opportunities to push the envelope with fellow explorers always managed to take precedence over everything else. I was a selfish, egotistical, manipulative, insensitive, irresponsible agent. (I know, I'm still working on it:)

It was the tail end of an LSD binge that lasted a few days. My psyche was fragile and I was thoroughly exhausted. My family had moved into the house -- a large and beautiful old house in one of the city's most desirable neighborhoods -- earlier that day. It was my parents' dream house; they still live there. They were rightfully angry with me that evening because I didn't help them with the move.

After looking around the house a little, I went to my bedroom for the first time, closed the door, laid down on my bed, and fell asleep.

Then, as fast as I fell asleep, I was jolted awake by the most intensely frightening thing I had ever experienced. There, lying on my bed, I was overwhelmed by an angry force appearing as a red light. It menaced and shook me then threw me on the floor. I crawled under the bed, scared to death, and the force's anger dissipated. The instant I worked up the courage to make a run for the light switch, the force -- now the size of an insect -- exited my house through one of the windows and disappeared. It seemed like I was awake because the dream was indistinguishable from reality, except for one detail: when I tried to turn the light on, there were two switches. The room only has one switch.

I woke up, lying on my bed, believing that I had encountered the personification of evil.

That was 16 months prior to my "fear of life" experience.

Muse of Muses 

Music can be heavenly. Mumford and Sons' album "Sigh No More" has helped lately to lift my spirit.


I wanted to write this weekend but I had a migraine all day Saturday and most of the day Sunday. In order to fully express the significance of my "fear of life" experience, I need to tell you about the premonition, the trial, and the revelation.

Friday, March 16, 2012

The Fear of Life 

At the end of my nap Wednesday afternoon, an instant before my alarm sounded, someone very dear to me appeared in my dream and asked me to talk with you about the fear of life.

Last week, I mentioned being touched by God's grace when I was younger and feeling like my life was over. More precisely, it felt like there was something profoundly wrong with me, holding me captive, slowly draining my life of joy and meaning. My desire to create was gone. Every day, instead of going to class, I drove my car, and tried to think my way out of my dead-end. The more I drove, the further from reality I got. In order to hide my inner struggle, I lied to my family every day regarding my physical and psychological whereabouts. The more I neglected and lied, the worse my existential panic became.

After a few weeks of this, my professor called me at home one evening and asked me, "What's wrong, friend?" I didn't know what to say, but I was touched by his concern. He asked me to go to class the following day and I agreed, although I dreaded it.

Later that evening, I ran into an old friend who gave me 2 hits of LSD. On my way home that night, in reckless desperation, I ate them. As the drug took effect, my panic turned into stark fear. I imagined that my parents would be waiting up for me, and that I wouldn't be able to hold myself together. By the time I got home, I had prepared myself to surrender to their love and accept help.

But everyone was asleep in my house. So I decided to ride it out alone. When I closed the door to my bedroom, my fear had turned into terror. I sat on my bed paralyzed by the terror of confronting the truth all at once, the terror of being destroyed without hope of redemption. Then it happened.

Then I realized that someone was studying my fear deliberately and dispassionately from every angle. It was me! I found myself looking at my open palms and the fear was gone. For the first time since I was a child, I could see and feel clearly. And I was strong.

That night, I created a series of drawings to exercise my new-found freedom of perception. The next day, I went to class, eagerly, and I showed my professor -- and friend -- that nothing was wrong.

That is how I conquered my fear of life. As for the fear of death, the fear of death is merely the shadow of the fear of life.

Please don't take my story as an endorsement to use LSD as a means to enlightenment. LSD is dangerous. It can cause a person to lose their mental faculties, permanently. If you're an American born in the 50s or 60s you probably know someone with fried synapses. I was foolhardy and fortunate.

A safe and effective strategy for overcoming fear necessarily involves confronting it carefully and deliberately, preferably from a position supported by wisdom and love.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Arguing with God 

God's unconditional grace is not easy to accept. It can seem unjust to those using this life as an investment in an exclusive afterlife. Also, the extra layer of control can seem like a good idea, as incentive for good behavior; that is what I struggled with, and why I devised the painless hell of self-erasure by soulicide.

But the truth is that God's grace is unconditional. Everything is forgiven, although nothing is forgotten. There is justice in that.

My attempt to circumvent my vision demonstrated to me how deceptively easy it is to win an argument against God. The thing that makes Jesus special among prophets is that he never won an argument against God.

Like prophets in the Torah, and Saul of Tarsus, Muhammad won some of his arguments for the sake of survival and others for the sake of enforceable power. He correctly defined himself as a prophet, but he did his vision and his followers a disservice by claiming to be the seal of the prophets. He was not the last prophet and messenger of God.

The root of the world's conflict is the competition for primacy between the arguments that a few men won against God.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Light of the World 

Light is a blessing for those seeking a brighter world and a curse for those counting on the world to remain in darkness.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Worship Life 

One of my favorite poems, to help show you why God's grace is unconditonal:
By Richard Schnap

I want to see God cry
I want to see tears like swollen suns
drip down His face
I want to see Him scream
and pound His fists
on the table of His own creation
I want to see Him tear His hair out
dig His nails into His skin
and rip it off, plunge knives
into His arms, slice His veins
and spill His blood all the way down to Hell
I want to know if God is so almighty
that He can end His own life
as easily as turning off a lamp
I want to see Him run through Heaven
with a gun and murder all His angels
pile up their bodies and choke
the pearly gates with their broken wings
I want to know that God really understands
just what it is He created
and if so
I will worship Him more than life itself.

Conditional salvation of the soul would be Satan's masterpiece, if he existed. It is the most unjust and poisonous "argument" ever won at Life's expense. It is also the ultimate affront to God's unconditional grace.

The punishment we condemn ourselves and each other to in this world is the only punishment we're ever going to suffer.

God understands Life. God is Life. Stop punishing God. Worship Life.

Practice Love.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Face to Face 

God is revealed synchronistically, through the experience of happening like clockwork.

Saturday, March 10, 2012


Protestants were blessed for liberating Jesus from the tyranny of the Roman Catholic Church, and making it possible to find the man and recover his vision.

Friday, March 09, 2012


I am not here to relieve you of your authority.
I am here to remind you of its nature and make you aware of your limits.

I am not here to condemn or supplant your faith traditions.
I am here to redeem and renew that which is redeemable and renewable.

Those who heed my word will be blessed.

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Woman's Day 

Women are so precious, and lovely, and dynamic, and vital, and irresistible to me that I ended up wanting to become one. The strength of my sex drive and my inability to control it ended up consuming the man that I was. When my love for women turned into self-loathing, resentment, and envy, it felt like my life as a man was over.

Then, through the grace of God, I discovered that I also was precious, and lovely, and dynamic, and vital, and irresistible, and it didn't feel like my life was over any more.

I know that I will never be a "real" woman, but I am a living tribute to women. I love my life as it is.

This is woman's day, not just for today, but for the rest of time. Women and men are equal in heaven and they will be on earth. Men that accept and embrace this truth will be blessed.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012


To my conservative readers: in order to be fair, and out of respect for you, from now on I will be mindful to critique from a point of view that includes you as friends. I acknowledge that I have often been less than gracious and worse on occasion, and I apologize for that.

To all of my readers: the Information & Commentary links will remain because they are to the places where I will continue to read and occasionally comment. I am open to adding new links and I welcome your suggestions.

I am here to answer your questions and talk with you. I will respond here on the blog unless you prefer a private response. I will never publish or share your name or email address. Although I have resisted enabling the comments on this blog, I am willing to do it eventually.

Fishing for Souls 

Love without conditions is an ocean without limits. It is a place of undeniable beauty and strength, but it can also be an overwhelming and distressing place where a person can drown.

Immerse yourself carefully and deliberately and learn to swim gracefully.

Monday, March 05, 2012

God Exists 

That is all.

The Final Judgement 

The ease with which we overstep our boundaries and use the Holy to control and condemn each other has been a function of institutional procedure for thousands of years. Most of our pathologies stem from that, collectively and as individuals. Jesus understood that, and he realized that the only way to free the human mind from that beast is to willfully confront it with the mirror image of God's grace: our ability to love unconditionally.

This vision is nothing short of a coup of the human soul, and a pronouncement of the judgement of judgements: the space between an individual and God is sacred and inviolable.

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Jesus and Human Sexuality 

From the Gospel of Matthew, 19:3-12:
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" 4 He answered, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." 7 They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" 8 He said to them, "For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery." 10 The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is not expedient to marry." 11 But he said to them, "Not all men can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it."
The words of Jesus are, of course, paraphrased by the author of Matthew, but the story is authentic. In addition to showing a partial awareness of the range in gender, Jesus is saying that male/female pairing is not the only acceptable way to live, by reason of God and man. But the description "eunuchs who have been so from birth" is not a figurative allusion to homosexuality, as some people would like to believe; it is a literal reference to people born with atypical physical characteristics. In the modern world, the condition is commonly referred to as "intersex".

The truth is that despite his goodness, Jesus probably believed that a gay man's best bet was to make himself a eunuch for, as the author of Matthew puts it, "the sake of the kingdom of heaven". That makes as much sense to me as "certificates of divorce" did to Jesus. And that is the answer to this conundrum.

In the same way and with the same authority that he contradicts and overrules Moses, I contradict and overrule Jesus by declaring:

For your hardness of heart Jesus allowed you to incorrectly judge the nature of homosexuality, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: God approves of adults lovingly and responsibly enjoying their lives and sexual drives together, regardless of orientation.

There you have it.

The other interesting thing about this quote is that it gives us a glimpse of the story behind the story, which could not be ignored or completely obscured. The author of Matthew was a eunuch, and so was Jesus. That is why Christian priests were intended to be celibate: as eunuchs, literally at first and later, figuratively.

Even though I arrived at the state of not having a sex drive through gender dysphoria, I understand the eunuch's advantage: perpetual automatic control over the most distracting, time-consuming and overwhelming animal drive. It is a state that I enjoy very much, although it is not costless.

Jesus may have been a eunuch who thought it was acceptable to have his testicles removed as a strategy for enlightenment, (it is more likely that he was a gay man serving a penance of sorts), but please don't take my comments as an endorsement of that.

This secret also leads to the conclusion that as a eunuch, Jesus was both educated and privileged. That was the reason why his message was taken seriously by so many people, and why he was given the choice to repent publicly. The carpenter? He was a builder of love in the world.

Saturday, March 03, 2012

The Needle of Truth in a Haystack of Myth 

Jesus believed that it would not take long for the vision to transform the world because he was encouraged by the magnitude of its effect in such a short period of time. He was correct that through his example, in how he faced the ultimate test in the confrontation with the failures of men, the spirit of the vision was resurrected in his followers. They did spread it quickly, and the more people that were killed for it, the more compelling and powerful it became. The Roman Empire and its allies tried and failed to murder the vision out of existence. But time, ignorance and other human weaknesses were on the Empire's side.

My vision involves rescuing the man and his vision from everything that diminishes them. I know that Jesus taught unconditional salvation of the soul in addition to unconditional love for two reasons: first, because the truth of unconditional salvation is obvious enough for even a novice adept to notice; and second, because he proved his goodness with his life. I don't believe that he made the same mistake that I made.

Jesus did not devote his life and death in order to function as the gatekeeper and lord of heaven, let alone a supremacist, exclusivist heaven that doesn't exist.

Taking the keys to the afterlife away from men was one of the primary reasons he was killed.

On a personal note, I apologize for the multiple edits to my posts. It embarrasses me a little, but at least you get to see how much this means to me, and how I struggle with the language to effectively convey what I see and feel. Thank you for your patience.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

The Resurrection of Jesus Christ 

This is it.

This is the resurrection of the pure, singular vision of the adept we know of as Jesus, by an adept with the vision to do it.

Although he knew that his effort alone would not be enough to bring about the desired results, he didn't predict me! He predicted that after his sacrifice, his followers would fully understand the value of the vision, and that understanding would empower them to live it and spread it to the rest of the world. That is what he meant by resurrection. He believed that it would not take long for the vision to transform the Earth into the paradise that he was given a glimpse of.

Jesus could not have imagined that 2,000 years would pass before the realization of the vision would even be possible. And he did not anticipate that the vision would be distorted by authoritarian idolaters and appropriated by the Roman Empire.

I have a better view than he did, thanks mostly to the achievements of the civilization he influenced so deeply. Otherwise I am his pupil.

Jesus was not realized by God different from you and me. Some people have talents that occur less frequently, and sometimes they coincide with a strong will, unusual circumstances and extraordinary times. That is how religions happen. The results vary. Buddha detached himself from love to avoid suffering. Muhammad created a kingdom through martial conquest.

The vision of unconditional love and personal sacrifice that Jesus devoted his life to is the only one with the potential to enlighten the world. It is the way, not to heaven, but to a heavenly world, where every life can be enjoyed and every soul grown strong and beautiful.

We are all included in heaven, regardless of the failures we take with us, and regardless of our beliefs. That said, in addition to the benefits of an enlightened life, there is a benefit expressed in Life when we give back strong, beautiful souls rather than neglected, ugly souls.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?